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Eighteen year-old Colby Webb trudged up the steps to his new dorm room with a smile on his face. He sported a classic “college freshman” look, bearing a duffle bag that was slung over one shoulder, a pillow in his left hand, and an empty fast food bag in his right. 


“I’m just getting there now,” he said into the cellphone that was teetering precariously between his cheek and shoulder. “Yes Mom, I promise,” he continued, swiping his student ID at the entryway. “Okay. Yes. Uh-huh.” The door beeped and Colby walked through, scanning the hallway for room 157.


“I’m sure I’ll make friends,” Colby sighed as he approached his assigned room. He shoved his key into the lock and bumped the door open with his hip. Then, he paused. Though it was three in the afternoon, the room was completely dark and eerily quiet. Was he the first of his roommates to arrive?


“Hey Mom? Mom? Hey, sorry. I-I’ve gotta letcha go,” he said. “Mhmm. Yeah. Love you too.” 


“Hullo?” he called into the darkness. When no one responded, he shrugged and coughed loudly before turning on the light switch. As his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he was appalled at what lay before him. On the sofa, the counter, the coffee table and every square inch of the floor were lumpy piles of brown feces. 


“What in the earth?!” he shouted. “Is that camel poop!?”


“Yes, yes it is,” replied a voice from the back bedroom.


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